What I wish I could tell my students

Here’s a list of few things I want to say to students, but am not quite sure how to do it. I’ve said of some of these in whole class contexts and variations of some to individuals. But I’ve noticed in my career that sometimes I notice things about students that are difficult to tell them directly. Maybe it’s the natural human aversion to confrontation, I’m not sure, but here’s the list:

  • You don’t have to go to a four year college if you have no idea what you want to do with your life.
  • If you don’t get into that school, your life is not over. You will get out of college what you put into it.
  • I understand that you’re a bright student. There’s no need to demonstrate that to me and your peers at every opportunity. In fact, you risk alienating some of your peers if you keep doing this.
  • Your ACT or SAT score does not define you, as important as it seems right now.
  • You’re in a controlling relationship. You deserve to be in a relationship in which you don’t feel like the thumb of power is constantly pressing on you.
  • I understand that you’re introverted. The ability to communicate well is an essential life skill. When someone says “hi” to you, you have be able to respond with, at minimum, “hi”.
  • Learning is not a competition, so when you get your quiz back, resist the urge to see how you “stack up” against your peers. (Okay, I’ve actually said this one.)
  • You can break the cycle of poverty in your family, but not unless you make some significant changes to your approach to life and the people in your life.
  • You’re addicted to your phone. Not in like a “haha, I’m trying to talk you so stop snap chatting” kind of way. More like a, “I’m really concerned about how this is going to negatively affect the rest of your life if you can’t get it under control” kind of way.
  • You’re in “regular” math class (as opposed to honors) but that doesn’t mean you can’t be an engineer, computer scientist, etc. In fact, I think you’d be a damn good one.
  • The pressure your parents are putting on you to perform is unnecessary and probably doing more harm than good. Work hard, but don’t cry over test scores, college applications, or an A-.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten some, but this is a pretty good list. Some of these are positive, but I struggle with how to explain them to students in a straightforward way. One that doesn’t sound preachy. I’m curious as to how other teachers approach situations like this with their students.

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